So, I have decided...

W called again yesterday and I knew he would call.

I actually planned to tell him not to call anymore when he calls again because I started thinking about him more and more after he called last week

but i didn't tell him when he called yesterday, instead, we had a pleasant conversation for more then an hour

However, the conversation still ended badly.

W: How was your weekend?
me: Not much, you?
W: not much either, my friends were busy, so I was staying at home all the time
me: same here, especially I don't have much friends left in here now and i found it hard to know new friends
W: I found it hard too

Right at that moment, It reminded me how he laid about meeting his "friend" who he met from internet through a dating website. I just can't help to get angry

me: How come? I think you are good at that.
W: No i am not
me: well, you have your way to do it
W: what?
me: I said you have your way to do it

Then he realized what I was referring to then we both went silence. Then I realized I had said something I shouldn't have said because i don't want him to know I still give a shit. Afterward, I told him I had things to do so i had to go. At the moment, i know I have to end it, I can't talk to him like I am some sort of time bomb that I don't know when I will explode.

I sent him this email few hours after the phone call.

W,

I had a really good time talking to you today and last week, but I just can't keep talking to you and pretend nothing have happened. What happened still hurts, therefore I think we should stop talking. I am sure you will understand and I hope we can be friends someday.

regards
P

It hurts so bad to tell such things to a person who you love...