Monday, December 14, 2009

what should I do (part 2)

5th Dec 2009, Saturday, Cold

I went to the same club alone again. I guess its was still a little bit early when I got there, there wasn't many people in the club at the time. I was drinking and dancing, then this red Hollister shirt guy (RHG) approached me. he looked quite cute in the club and It didn't take more then the one song for us to went from just staring each other to start dancing together. Four songs later we started kissing. Everything went fine until I saw AM and his friend again. At the moment, AM was looking at me, right into my eyes. Suddenly, this huge guiltiness just exploded in my head and I can't explain why. When AM looked at me, he looked at me as if i did something wrong. I tried to look at AM few times while I was dancing with RHG and every time I did I got the same look in return then I would look at the floor. I have to admit that I was so annoyed but intrigued by the whole situation and I would love to know what's in AM's mind. However, I had my RHG at the time and I can't just simply push him away since I kind of picked him too when he approached me. Therefore that night, AM and I still hadn't talked. Around 1 am, RHG asked me if i want to go to his place, the signal is obvious, and I agreed.

I was nervous indeed, not only because I've never done one-night-stand before but also because of I do not have a lot sex experience (yes, sadly). I always told myself ONS is not something wrong/ugly/dirty and it just a way that people use to fulfill their sexual need as long as they are consensual and they think they can handle the emotion fluctuation after doing it. Therefore, I thought that might be the time I should experience it.

"hey, I just want to let you know I might not be able to do that because I didn't have a lot of experience" I didn't say that to pretend to be innocent, I said that as I meant it because the last time I tried to have anal sex I had to tell that guy to pull it out after he just put his glans penis in. That's how untrained my body is.

"it's okay" he said it and looked at me, "we don't have to do it if you don't want to"

"no, i want to, it jsut.... i dont know if i could take it"

Then I went to his place and started making out on his bed. We jerked each other off for awhile then he asked me if he could top me while his put his erected penis against my butt.

However, he didn't, he just didn't. I asked him why but he didn't answer. I am not sure if it was because I hesitated when I answered his question. He just kept jerking me and he seemed like he just want the whole thing to finish. However, the thing is, I can't cum when I feel pressure (because i feel like he just want my to cum and finish the act). Therefore I stopped him and asked him if he need to work the next day. He said yes and I suggested that I might just go home. He agreed and walk me home. I do think that's quite nice of him to walk me home.

I actually think that is the best possible way of how this ONS story should end since I did try to have it (ONS) and I realized ONS is not for me and I realize it before i actually got fucked by someone I don't know so well.

but, i still don't understand why didn't he do it.........hmmmm.........any thoughts?



Love her speech

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

sounds to me like it's because you hesitated in your response. he probably didn't want to force you - which is unusual for most guys (who just do whatever they want). and it was nice that he walked you home. maybe you guys should go on a date and then it won't be a ONS next time!!

Dickson Wong said...

I thought thats unusual too. When he suggested to walk me home, I can't help to have this idea that he might want to go for a date so thats why he doesn't want to have the "sex". However, didn't even ask my number after he walk me home. It was real confusing. Anyway, I asked him for his number cuz i think i could use a clubbing buddy