Why am I being stupid.

this is one of the pictures of me I look after my hair cut and hair dye

I went to have a hair cut last week and I dyed my hair the following day, into a much lighter brown. Thanks for my light skin tone, it doesn't look that awkward on me. After all the transformation my hair had I felt like I should have a new hair style. Therefore the following day I put jel on my hair and made it in Faux Hawk style. I told W that and he immediately asked me to show him my hair on web cam. However, once he saw my hair he sent me this guy's picture, yes, It's Gok Wan (this is the picture he sent me). I didn't know who the hell he was until W explained me. In my opinion, I think he is a very ugly guy and I thought that was a horrible joke to make to a guy who just tried to have a new hair style.

I have to say I have very low self-esteem and It took lots of my courage to try a new hairstyle. I felt like shit when he told me I looked like him. He told me it was just a joke later on but it obviously didn't make me feel any better. I was extremely pissed and I told him I had to hang up on skype with a random reason. I can't get over the all I look like gok wan thing so I sent the following message to him on facebook the that night.

"You are the one who asked me to show my hair to you on cam, but you immediately make fun of me when you see it. I don't understand why you think its funny. It actually hurts"

Then he replied, " sorry - didn't mean to hurt you - i was just being dumb. I really like your hair like that anyway"

I talked to Ri the other day. She said something that I would have said to myself. She told me I shouldn't have acted that uptight and just laughed about it. I can't help to feel like I was being a defensive drama queen... I know it was not very cool but I just can't control it.I was bothered by that for days and eventually I sent him an email yesterday telling him that I am sorry too, for being overacting...

I don't know what I am doing.....I don't know why I still give a shit.....and it's painful

God, could you help me? could you help me to stop loving him?