Vancouver geeky boy (2)

The next day, A and I walked around UBC (gosh, UBC IS beautiful) and eventually Kate joined us since she had been hanging around there already. However, it soon became the worst day of my trip because it revealed what Kate really is, a paranoid psycho. Actually A did kinda warn me about that but apparently A was being too nice she didn't really went all the way to the details. Since there were so many little annoying incidents and conversations that happened that day, I am not going to go over them one-by-one here. All I can say is Kate is a girl who is actually not that confident with her physical appearance and she clearly suffers from her social life. Thus it makes her so paranoid about the idea of "hanging out with a friend" and "how she thinks people would think about her". She also can be EXTREMELY pushy when she wants/needs to "hang out with" someone, yea, that sounds like a psycho isn't it. Anyway, one might ask how the whole "Kate is a social paranoid" thing relates to Vancouver geeky boy(vgb). The answer is that it means she will never introduce me to vgb no matter how many times I ask her to. I noticed that when I asked her if she could ask vgb to have supper with us or going to the beach with us the next day,I got ambiguous blahs as an answer so eventually i realized no matter how many times I ask her she will still give me the same old answer. Therefore, I decided to give up on knowing this vgb through Kate and planned on getting to know him through one of the most important inventions of the world, Facebook.

That is the story of me meeting a guy who I didn't really meet in Van.

Honestly although I do find this vgb quite attractive, I've decided I should just to be friends with him because I really don't need another long distance relationship after W. Another reason I want to know this guy is because Kate literally described him as a perfect (gay) human being therefore I really want to know if such a perfect man could really exist since I am disappointed in gay man because of W, whom I thought was so perfect but it turned out he is not.

I sent my first message to him about 2 weeks ago which is a week after I went back home and we have been chatting since then.

One funny thing is since I am pretty sure this vgb has never seen the psycho side of Kate so I had to tell him not to tell Kate that we are chatting now because the whole spying on a friend's friends thing is rather embarrassing for me (which is partly true, but, the truth is i am sure if Kate knew that I started talking to him once i added her on facebook she will think i am using her and stealing a friend of her from her, which is a normal social paranoid would do) :P

Vancouver geeky boy (1)

As I promised I am going to talk about the story of the boy who i DIDN'T meet when I was in Vancouver in this post.

However, before I talk about this guy I have to talk about this girl "Kate" (false name of coz) because she is kinda our Cupid, but a very annoying one.

When I was in Vancouver two weeks ago, "A" threw a Mafia game party for me at her house since she knew I love playing the game Mafia (of cuz she loves it too). Mafia is a game that requires numerous intelligent players to involve (at lease 8 players), therefore it’s very hard to gather the party to make a successful Mafia game. That night A invited lots of her friends included her high school classmate Kate. My first impression of Kate was that she was a friendly, confident, intelligent girl who doesn't really care about her appearance. The game was really fun but several people left after few games and at the end there were only 7 of us left in the game. Then I asked the remaining people if they know anyone live nearby they could invite to join the game. Then Kate immediately said she knew a guy who might be able to join the game and this gay is very hot and he is also gay as well. Then I was like, "yea, that's great, call him now". However, she suddenly changed her mind, she told me that might not be a good idea to invite him because he had to ride the bike home after the game and it was late night already. That really doesn't sound very convincing to me and I think it was very random for her to change her mind all in a sudden but I knew there's nothing I could do to make her to invite that cute gay guy to join us, I was disappointed indeed. Then I asked her if she could show me his photos on her facebook. This guy, lets call him Vancouver geeky boy (vgb) for now, is actually a fairly sweet, geek looking guy (he wears geeky glasses in most of his pictures on facebook), yet he is not "hot", which is what Kate described him as (I really doubt if Kate know what "hot" means after I see vgb's picture). Nevertheless, I personally do found him and attractive especially his geeky look (I am a big geek lover, I have no idea why :-D). Then I started asking Kate about this vgb. Kate seemed very excited when she talked about him and she just kept telling us how sweet and talented he is. Eventually we carried on the topic after the game while we were having bubble tea. She told us it's a pity that he is gay otherwise they would be dating already. Honestly I don't see that coming even if vgb is a straight guy (of course I didn't saying anything). At that time, I've felt very intrigued by who vgb really is and I know I have to find a way to get Kate to introduce us...



to be continued...

Going to Vancouver

I am now at the airport waiting to get into the plane to go to Vancouver, the mysterious city in Canada where full of wealthy Hong Kong people. My friend even told me because of Van is now heavily populated by Hong Kong immigrant therefore Vancouver has a nickname called "Hongcouver". The reason I am traveling so far away for a city that so lack of surprises for me is because I want to visit A. I believe I had mentioned A before in one of my older post, which featured a conversation between us about W. A is one of my very best friends who I can really share absolutely anything to her (I bet she must feel flattered when she read this, but A, don't be too proud and keep reading) and I always get very rational and practical responds (I guess I had mention this before too). She is now studying for her master degree in UBC, one of the top two Universities in Canada, the other one is U of T, therefore I decided to use my last bit of my last summer holiday to visit her. To be very very honest Vancouver is actually not where I want to go originally. For those who has been reading this blog for awhile (I don't even know such person exist) must know that I originally planned to go to London to visit W. However, bad things do happen, so the trip to London is cancelled and since I have no plan to go back to Hong Kong therefore the plan became going to Canada to visit A. Moreover, Vancouver is my mum once told me Vancouver is very pretty place and I know if I am not going now I will never want to go again. Since this is a last minute thing and sort of a Healing trip for me from the trauma of not being able to go to London to see W and especially this is VANCOUVER, therefore I am not really expecting any exciting adventure. However… This is the conversation between me and my friend Lu

Lu, "Wow, you going to Vancouver?"
Me, "Yea, since I am not going to London."
Lu, "Are you going to the Rocky Mountain as well? I've heard it's beautiful there"
Me, "Oh...well, who said we have to fill in our time with activities when we travel? I think sometimes traveling can also be relaxing, empty and slow."
Lu, "Oh…whatever you like then, it's just not my travel principles."

However…after being a cynic for awhile…

Me, "Hey A, Is Rocky Mountain far away?"
A, "yes, very far away"
Me, "oh…well…fine then…I am just curious…" :-P

What am I expecting

I really don't know whats wrong with me.

I have been feeling very depressed for days and today is the worst.

W called me today, after haven't communicated for a week. I wanted to pretend i am actually not that happy but I can't. However, something happened in our conversion and it made my whole day stayed miserable. Recently he found this interesting book named "riddley walker" by Russell Hoban and he was sharing me the story line. Since the story line is really interesting and I found a lot of similarity between some mangas that I have read therefore I started talking when he was still explaining the story too. I guess he was annoyed by my interruption and he finally said, "Why are you over talking me?" it was quite sudden and i didn't know how to respond. then i go "i am sorry I was just excited" I really dont understand why would he say that. I know thats annoying to get interrupted but there are million better ways to tell me to shut up, he could just say "hey, can i finish my sentence?" but "Why are you over talking me?"??? Excuse me? do you think i did that because i think it is fun to do?? anyway i was pissed but i didn't tell him, but i guess he kinna know that he told he get angry easily due to the weather. WHAT A SHITTY REASON. Anyway, after we finished the conversion i when to do some shipping alone and i really can't help thinking what happened in the morning. The more I thought about that the more i got pissed. Eventually I wanted to email him how pissed i was. Actually it is very usual for me to do that. When i got annoyed, i would kinna let it go at that time and pretend nothing happened(cuz i dont know how to react). but then i would spend hours to think about it and the more i think about it the more negative I would get. I am sure i get this from my mum because my mum is exactly like this. anyway, i was so pissed i was about to send this "clarification" emails to him. However, since this is not the first time he does it and everytime i did at i feel bad after. Therefore i decided to call one of my best friend A.

A is a very rational girl who gives the best comment in the world. Instead of giving emotional support, like "Waht a jerk!" "I feel so sorry for you" blah blah blah, she tends to analyze the situation and tell me what she think as a thrid person, her comments have always been very neutral. anyway, this is our conversion on skype:

A: 19:06:40

hmm, maybe it's the attitude he had and the way he framed it, cos actually i would apologize to the other person if i interrupted unintentionally

P: 19:07:03

i did apologize

A: 19:07:06

i guess he could've said it in a better way

P: 19:07:28

but i also feel bad when he said that

A: 19:07:51

i realize that he really knows how to push your buttons...i don't think he does it intentionally, but a lot of the things he says can really upset you

but some ppl are like that

P: 19:08:30

should i tell him i am upset?

A: 19:08:32

they tend to draw the more negative sides of us out

P: 19:08:52

you know , sometimes i even thing he think he can be rude to me because i like him

A: 19:09:04

well...i dunno...i'm not him, so i dunno if he'll get annoyed by all these "clarification" emails

P: 19:09:35

sigh................i know

but i still think what he said is rude

i have decided i will tell him next time i tlak to him

A: 19:13:00

actually, if i were you, i'll just let it go...

let me explain

it seems like you won't think he's suitable for you as a BF anyway, so he's more like a fren

and yet as friends, you guys dont' seem to be getting along that well either

cos rarely do frens always run into situations where there's misunderstanding, miscommunication etc. that requires a lot of clarification

i mean, once in a while there may be conflicts, but you guys have those tensions a lot

so depending on what you expect from him and your friendship with him, if you don't hold high hopes, then i would just let it go

P: 19:16:01

maybe i dont now what to expect from him

A: 19:17:56

i think you'll have to evaluate if this friendship is doing you more harm than good...is it making you happier or is it bringing you more problems and misery? and if you realize that you're always upset by him, then maybe you wanna readjust your distance with him...

i know it's hard cos you still have a bit of feelings for him; there's so much history and you guys do share some common grounds

but usually it's not all-or-none, you're probably never gonna hate him, and yet you gotta draw clearer boundaries

I totally agree on what A said, therefore, I ended up didn't send that Email I have drafted thousand times in my head. I am so glad I talk to A before I took the action. I really how bad i would feel this time if i did send....

anyway, its time to sleep...