I think I've mentioned that I am moving again,right?
I am actually going to move in two days! I totally do not feel like packing at all!!!!Its crazy!!!! (actually i dont feel like doing anything at all, you can tell from my update speed of this blog)
Its good that some of my stuffs still in a box since last time I moved so they are ready to go.
see the wine boxes? heehee
I had a pretty nice X'mas night this year, T and some other friends of mine came to visit at the X'mas night then we went to this Korean bar to drunk until we felt very sick (LOL). Then we kept playing sponge bob monopoly the rest of the night. We planed to go to have the boxing day shopping the next day but I was just too sick to stay at the mail. oh, by the way, the queue for just getting in Hollisters is massive(at least 40 ppl), I wonder how long the queue was for Abercrombie but I didn't want to check that out.
the next post is coming out soon, which is about some movies that i like, so stay tuned!
I went clubbing with my newly met friends Br and Se that night. It was supposed to be a very fun night since we had so much fun last time we hanged out together. However, the night turned out to be a total mess.
When we were on the line outside the club I noticed a familiar face stood right behind me, it was "confusing Jo". Confusing Jo is a high school music teacher in his late twenties. We dated in the beginning of this year and, as his name I gave him, he is a very confusing guy who is very good at sending confusing signals. He would try very hard to let you know he like you more then just a friend but less than a boyfriend. After few weeks of meaningless dating I finally realized we were not going to anywhere so I ended it with an sms. Anyway, that night, I said hi to him but it was just totally out of politeness, i didn't even want to say a single word to him.
When we got into the club, Br immediately spotted his "kinda of" ex-boyfriend and started talking to him. Br obviously wanted to get back to him but me and Se both knew that Br was just treated as an-other-boy-in-the-club by his ex-boyfriend. Few minutes later Br was gone, who knows what happened. Se and me stayed in the club and Se suddenly asked me if i mind if he hit on confusing Jo. Of course I don't mind and even i did i know it was not my business anyway. So I was left alone. Then, I saw AM. He looked at me in the exact same way as how he did last week. Since I was just by myself so I finally decided to talk to him. However, when I actually tried to approach him he walked away. I was a bit dismayed since those kind of courage can only burst once. Therefore, I did something stupid and I deeply regarded doing it. I asked his white friends, the one he always hang out with, for his name.
"Hey, what's your friend's name?" I went
"which one" he replied
"The one with the navy blue shirt" i said to him
"why dont you ask him yourself" he said it in a annoying tone
what the hell????? did I do something wrong?????
Then AM came back to the dance floor and he didn't do anything. It's impossible that this white dude didn't tell AM I've just asked his name. so....Is he interested or is he interested not? I was so confused. In order to end this awkward situation I knew I had to talk to AM by myself. So, I asked. I am not sure if its because the music is so loud or i was too drunk. I can't hear what he said at all and they looked like they were about to leave. The only thing I heard is "stay here, i will be right back". I didn't stay in the same spot, but i was looking there, he didn't come back.
I was left even more confused.
what? what about Se and confusing Jo? oh oh oh.........did I mention that guy's name is confusing Jo?
I went to the same club alone again. I guess its was still a little bit early when I got there, there wasn't many people in the club at the time. I was drinking and dancing, then this red Hollister shirt guy (RHG) approached me. he looked quite cute in the club and It didn't take more then the one song for us to went from just staring each other to start dancing together. Four songs later we started kissing. Everything went fine until I saw AM and his friend again. At the moment, AM was looking at me, right into my eyes. Suddenly, this huge guiltiness just exploded in my head and I can't explain why. When AM looked at me, he looked at me as if i did something wrong. I tried to look at AM few times while I was dancing with RHG and every time I did I got the same look in return then I would look at the floor. I have to admit that I was so annoyed but intrigued by the whole situation and I would love to know what's in AM's mind. However, I had my RHG at the time and I can't just simply push him away since I kind of picked him too when he approached me. Therefore that night, AM and I still hadn't talked. Around 1 am, RHG asked me if i want to go to his place, the signal is obvious, and I agreed.
I was nervous indeed, not only because I've never done one-night-stand before but also because of I do not have a lot sex experience (yes, sadly). I always told myself ONS is not something wrong/ugly/dirty and it just a way that people use to fulfill their sexual need as long as they are consensual and they think they can handle the emotion fluctuation after doing it. Therefore, I thought that might be the time I should experience it.
"hey, I just want to let you know I might not be able to do that because I didn't have a lot of experience" I didn't say that to pretend to be innocent, I said that as I meant it because the last time I tried to have anal sex I had to tell that guy to pull it out after he just put his glans penis in. That's how untrained my body is.
"it's okay" he said it and looked at me, "we don't have to do it if you don't want to"
"no, i want to, it jsut.... i dont know if i could take it"
Then I went to his place and started making out on his bed. We jerked each other off for awhile then he asked me if he could top me while his put his erected penis against my butt.
However, he didn't, he just didn't. I asked him why but he didn't answer. I am not sure if it was because I hesitated when I answered his question. He just kept jerking me and he seemed like he just want the whole thing to finish. However, the thing is, I can't cum when I feel pressure (because i feel like he just want my to cum and finish the act). Therefore I stopped him and asked him if he need to work the next day. He said yes and I suggested that I might just go home. He agreed and walk me home. I do think that's quite nice of him to walk me home.
I actually think that is the best possible way of how this ONS story should end since I did try to have it (ONS) and I realized ONS is not for me and I realize it before i actually got fucked by someone I don't know so well.
but, i still don't understand why didn't he do it.........hmmmm.........any thoughts?
Do you guys still remember I was writing about this annoying dude 3 weeks ago? Actually there were more happened that night...
I actually saw this two guys that the club as well that night. One of them is an Asian mix white and the other one is a white. that They look like they are in their thirties and both of them are quite masculine (I dont usually really like masculine guys but they do look quite nice) and the fact that they acted quite shy made they even cuter. I personally prefer the white one and I noticed both of them did looked at me occasionally that night especially that Asian mix (I'm going to call him AM in post). In fact, I drew quite a few attentions that night, I can't help to think if that was because I look different since I've been working out. I was kinda wait for AM to talk to me so I dance quite close to him, in fact, we were actually dance back to back. however, this annoying duge suddenly appeared and ruin the whole thing (if you want to know more about that incident, click here). When that duge tried to flirt with me and even wanted to kiss me, AM was just dancing right beside me. I had to literally push that duge away when he leaned towards me and tried to kiss me (an other strong reason for me to push him away is to prove to AM and his friend i am not a slut, lol). AM were witnessing the whole thing. That was pretty dramatic indeed. Me and AM ended didn't talking to each other that night and I was a bit disappointed...
I thought the story would end there, but its not, i saw him in the club 2 weeks later, which I am going to talk about it in the next post, stay tuned...
I know its been a long time since my last update, it is because I had my final exams and I was very stressed in the past 2 weeks. But now all the exams are done and i can finally update my blog again!! hooray!!!!
I was so stressed about the exam last week because if i fail that course it means i will have to take an extra semester to finish my degree and that would be very stupid since that course is actually has nothing relate to my major. That class is kinda like a history class of fashion. One of the reason for choosing that class is because i thought the reading would be easier to read ( I always have trouble reading academic article, but the fact is, that class readings are so ridiculously difficult and dull and heavily loaded. There are about 20 readings in total that we have to read through out the whole class but I only read four of them and i was still playing MW2 the day before exam cuz i know i will not be able to read the rest of the reading in one night anyway, but i was still nervous. I was kinda prepared to just bull shit the entire essay question part. HOWEVER, when i saw the essay questions i almost laughed, because that two essay questions are about the readings that i have actually read, I even did a presentation on on of them. I was lucky, very lucky. Now I don't need to suffer from doubting if i could pass the course now!!yay!!!
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