A very long story in Montreal - Day 1, 2 & 3

I am back!!!!! Finally!!!

It's been more then two weeks, due to my exhausting, life consuming visit to Montreal, I wasn't able to write anything until today.

Unfortunately I have tell you guys that I will not continue writing my last post (unless anyone beg for it, which I doubt it would happen anyway) because I have an even bigger, more dramatic story to tell, and of cuz, it happened in Montreal. And because of that incident, those dates that I've mentioned in the previous post become pointless now.

Since this is going to be a very long story, I'm going to divide it into few parts. I promise you guys I will finish the whole story this time.

Introduction

Although I had to drop my plan to go to UK, I still want to go somewhere to escape from my dull life, therefore I thought about Montreal, where is alot cheaper for me to go. I told my plan to M, which is a nice friend I met about a month ago, and M immediately told me he is happy to offer me accommodation since he is currently living in Montreal. It was really nice of him because that would make my trip even cheaper if I have a place to stay for free, However, I do have my concern. My concern is if he would cross the line when I am there because he had been sending confusing singles to me after I met him for the first time. Sometimes I just think what he said to me is a bit too intimate, like, he asked me to kiss him when I got there if I want to thank him (he wasn't just sayin' it, he did ask for it when i was there). Moreover, he also told me that I got the perfect look of his guy of his dream but it just too bad that I am a bottom too. That's why I asked him several times to confirm if he really is a bottom because I don't want to have anything weird happen between us. However, what had happened later on between us was way more weird then I anticipated.

Day one, 17th, Wednesday

After hours of exhausting bus ride, I saw M waiting for me in the bus terminal. Then we headed to his place. When I got to his place, I saw two people there, P and B, watching telly together, six feet under to be specific. After I changed my cloths and had something to eat with M, I went to say hi with them. P is M's current roommate, a 23 years old French Canadian, and B is P's good friend. M told me he had only met B once so he doesn't know about him very well as well.

Before I went to Montreal, M showed me pictures of P on facebook and asked me if I think he is cute. Honestly, when I looked at it I wasn't impressed at all because he looks like a small immature bitchy gay guy in the photos, that mainly because of I was told that he is younger so I didn't look at those photos seriously because I am easily turned off by younger guys. However, seeing him in real person, he actually looks a lot nicer then I thought before. However, that was it, I wasn't really attracted, for two main reasons. First, he is my friend's roommate, it would be weird If I got closer to him then M. Second, when I went to say hi to them, P was watching those Korean music videos that he download from the net on the telly. Then I realized he is a huge Korean rice queen, which is a serious turn off for me. Then M told me that P only like Korean/Japanese looking guy later on that night, which my look has nothing close to that (I have been asked if I am mixed Asian hundred times in my whole life). Anyway, we drank and played cards together and it was really fun. We played until 2 in the morning and then decided to carry on the drinking and card playing next night in B's place. Before me and M went sleep, M told me lots about him and P, mostly about how a good roommate. I couldn't agree more on that and then we went to sleep.

Day 2, 18th, Thursday

I slept till noon that day, after washing their dirty dishes for an hour and had the "lunch", it was already like 4pm. Then me and M went to work out for awhile in downtime Montreal. During the train ride to downtown, M told me even more about P, but it's still about how nice and gentle he is and how he is being such a incredible roommate to him. One thing that worth to notice is he kept mentioning that he is very shy almost every time he told me things about him. I only realized the reason why he did it later on after a huge drama. We got to B's place at around 10. I forgot what we were talking about when we walked into B's place and the conversation eventually led to a hug between P and M. While they were hugging, P looked at me and joke about if I were jealous. I sad no, of course, but the fact is, I was, not because I like either P or M, but the close friendship between roommates, because I've never had a very close friendship with my roommates I have had and most of my roommates are shitheads.

Day 3, 19th, Friday

I was very excited because it was the clubbing day, which is the main purpose to go to Montreal in the first place. I went to swim for while in the afternoon then we (including me, P, M, B) went to a birthday party of a friend of P and B. After hours of exhausting English conversation with their French speaking friends, we finally headed to the club. It was fun, clubbing in montreal just never let me down. We drank and dance, dance and drank, god knows how much we had drunk. I was black out for awhile, when I gradually got back my consciousness, I found myself kissing P....

(to be continued)

A very long story in Montreal - Day 3 (part 2)

dating 4 guys (part 1)

Before reading this post, I want to tell you something. I want to make a pledge to you guys that everything I write below is 100% real and they really happened. I am not one of those bitches that just saying this to say how attractive I am. In fact, I've been the biggest loser in terms of getting a date since I came to this country. I am so surprised by the things that happened to me recently, being asked for a date from 4 different guys in the same time, things like that has never happened before and probably wouldn't happen in the future. Although I might not actually be with any of them eventually, it is still a very interesting story to be told.

Two weeks ago I went clubbing again with my friend J. Soon I realized there was a guy, a quite young/good looking white guy but a bit chubby, had been staring at me for awhile. Then I started dancing next to him and see if he was really interested. As I thought, he was, soon we started dancing together then we kissed. However, I found him a tiny bit too aggressive and eventually became a turn off. He also constantly dragged away by this friends while I was dancing with him. Therefore I just escaped when their friends did that again. Then I ran into RHG, a guy I almost slept with last time I saw him, then we started kissing and dancing together. I admit that I was acting a bit like a slut that night, but I think its fine as long as I know where my bottom line is, which is not going to bed with any of those guys.

While I was on my way to the toilet, I was approached by an other guy, a middle thirthish white guy. Actually I did notice his staring earlier but I ignored him since he isn't the best looking one who was interested in me that night in the club. (I know what I did is very shallow, but tell me, how sophisticated you can be in a club?). This time he came in front of me and said hi. I said hi to him too. He asked me what my background is then I told him I am from Hong Kong. Then I asked him as well because his accent doesn't sound local. He told me he is from German and have been living here fore 4 years for biology research in hospital. I was impressed and interested in his occupation. Therefore, after I went to the toilet, I gave him a small piece of paper with my name and phone number with it. Then I went back to RHG and continued what we were doing. I ended up didn't do anything with RHG that night but this is what he text me the next day.

"oh my sweet little friend. I couldn't get enough of you last night...let's go out sometime"

then he send me another message of asked me for a coffee the next day.

a day later, I received a text message from the German guy about asking me for a supper well

to be continued

Talking to my Ex

Although I don't have class anymore I still go back to school quite regularly to use the Internet there since my internet in my shared apartment is so fucking slow.

Few days ago, I bumped into my first boyfriend, Alex, a 30 years old white guy with very pale blue eyes. We talked a little bit then I continued my way to the computer lab. I was a bit nervous when I talked to him because It's been a very long time since I talked to him face to face (we usually just say hi if we met, which didn't happen very often anyway).

Then we bumped into each other again few hours later. He was going to get some coffee at the college cafe and I was going to the printing department. Since we both were not in hurry we decided to sit down to chat a bit more. I was a lot more relaxed this time when I talked to him this time. the conversation was really pleasant I must say. He told me he after all the years he studied in college he found out what he really wants to do is drawing illustration and told me he would merry his girl friend when he collects enough money. I also told him my recent life as well then we carry on chatting a bit more.

The conversations totally reminded me how much fun it could be to talk to him. The most important thing is I wasn't bothered by the things that had happened between us when we were together anymore. I can finally let myself go and unload all the negative baggage and feelings. Then I thought about the "friendship" between W and I and asked myself why do I still want to constantly torture myself with the unpleasant things he did to me. I guess it's because if I don't do that, I might fall in love with him again, which is rather easy.

I feel very confused recently and I don't seem to be able to focus on everything at all. I feel like I am seeing the world outside of the universe and I have no control of it.

What changed me?

Is that Love or Stupidity?

I am so glad that I keep this blog away from my friends, otherwise I will not be able to write this post.

K and I went for a dinner last night. We dined at this Jazz bar/restaurant that I found online. The place looked a little sketchy, which made me a bit nerves before I walk in (that's the thing about trying new restaurant you found with your friend), but the food and music turned out to be rather lovely, especially the music, it was like jazz mixed with Spanish guitar, I had nothing to complain except the crappy stage.

However, with such beautiful music, I still couldn't loosen up my mind to enjoy the night, mostly because of K's stressful talk about his recent life. I knew he desperately wanted to share his stressful stories with me from the day that he asked me to have this dinner with him, but i just didn't anticipate the talk would be that stressful. First, He told me a whole bunch of incidents about how he got verbal abuses from his homophobic co-workers, which is sucks enough, then he told me about his psycho roommate who would steal his food and throw away this cooking utensils. The thing that really got me while I was listening to his stories was the fact that he had never done anything about it, he just let shit happen to him. Every time I asked him why he didn't fight for himself he has his perfect explanation of why he shouldn't. Okay, I understand when he said he doesn't want to make his boss his enemy, but what about his crazy roommate? To be honest, I think this is simply because of his cowardliness. I particularly hate when people just bitch about situations that they had never even try to solve it or fight for it in any way. After all, I think there is no one he could blame but himself in such case.

Then he started talked about his boyfriend, which is the whole point of having this dinner. The story is not that impressive or complex after all. His boyfriend cheated on him, like many others, with tons of guys that he met online. K went to his boyfriend's place to stay over few days ago and discovered all the erotic conversations that his boyfriend stored in his computer by accident (really?). I just couldn't understand why guys would do that, bring the trophy of cheating home right in front of their partners face as if they are blind or something, where's their brain? Oops I almost forgot guys don't actually think with with brain. Obviously, his boyfriend couldn't denied that fact that he had met guys online and had those conversations with those internet boys since there are evidences, but, unsurprisingly, he denied having sex with anyone of them, despite he had actually scheduled the date with his online mates and mentioned about having lube and condom in those conversations. K told me he believes his boyfriend might actually telling the truth. However, I think that is what K wants to believe, but actually believing. Then he told me about how he also cheated on his boyfriend once as well, what a surprise, therefore he wants to forgive his boyfriend on this one, which he already did. However, I think K is making a huge logical mistake here. The fact K had also cheated doesn't means that he should tolerant his boyfriend's cheating. They both did something wrong, individually, and they shouldn't be in the same equation and able to balance out, they should be deal with separately. But apparently K's brain doesn't function like that. One thing about this incident is now K starts to worry about his health because he and his boyfriend never used condom during their love making. He told me he wants to have body check since only god knows how many guys that K's boyfriend had fucked with unsafely when they are together and before they are together. I asked K if he would continue to let his boyfriend fuck him without a condom in the future. I proposed two questions to him. First one, "If you starts asking him to put on a condom every time he fucks you, then are you ready for the challenge of being accused of not trusting his boyfriend anymore?". Second question, "If you continues to let him fuck you bareback, you are actually putting yourself in a very dangerous position of getting STD and HIV, why do you want to do that?" he told me he does't know how to answer either questions and he only knows he really love his boyfriend.

Letting your boyfriend fuck you raw might be because of ignorant, but letting your boyfriend fuck you raw after knowing he is one of those high risk people then you are nothing but a stupid dumb-fuck. Don't use Love to camouflage your stupidity, love is so much greater then that.

Guys, especially the gay ones, don't trust anyone, use a condom.