I really can't wait...Final Fantasy XIII just looks amazing

TGS is on right now so I can't really not talk about games.

I am so excited to see all the news of Final Fantasy XIII !!!

The Final Fantasy franchise is one my a favorite amount other games. I started playing FF when FFVIII came out (unfortunately not FFVII) and I just fail in love with it once I played it. However, the new FF franchise, which is FFXIII, seems to have the longest developing time in the game history (I think the only one that could compare with it is the GT franchise)

I really hope the characters in FFXIII will be able to change their weapons (I want to use polearms!!!) but it does seems to have such an opinion according to what I saw \(T _T)/

Moreover, every Summon in this generation seem to have the ability to transform into different transportation, like motor bike, house, sports car...etc.

Anyway, The English version of the game is not coming out until next year spring and since SE is notorious for their delay in releasing date, I guess by the time I could actually play it it will be about next year summer....

Here's the new trailer of the game(released in TGS '09")

Princesm as a gamer - Lost Planet 2 Demo at PS3

OMG, The Lost Panet 2 is sosoosososo good. I downloaded the Demo few days ago and played with my friend Mx yesterday. The game play is very good, especially it adopts the co-cop idea from Resident evil 5(both games are from is from capcom). It just feels very good to be able to have the adventure of the game with your friends/strangers, and it actually make those action-advanture games less scary for me to play (I probably would not be able to finish Resident evil 5 if i didn't play it with an other player online). Moreover, The graphic of TLP2 is amazing as well (its even better then Resident evil 5!), I hope the the resolution would pump into 1080p when the official version release cuz it still look a bit rough.

release date : 2009 winter(xbox) / unknown (PS3)

sign... yea... I am a PS3 owner =.=

W, still

I felt very bad after sending him the email, knowing that he probably would not call anymore.

When I think about all the bad things that he did to me when he was here and all the sufferings that I have been thought plus the fact that he could just talk to me again without mentioning a thing about what happened, not even an proper apology, I really do believe sending him that “never-call-again” email was a right thing to do. However, pathetically, I do really miss him. Therefore sometimes I would tell myself that the fact that he is calling and being all gentle might be the best case scenario already because my dignity will never allow me to call him after what happened, thus I shouldn’t have ruined it, because it might be the only chance for us to get back together.

I am real pathetic, I know.

I kinda regard that I didn’t tell him the “lying” incident was not the whole reason why I don’t want to talk to him anymore because I wanted him to know he has done other bad things to me too, which I was too chicken to complain since I wanted to protect the “relationship” that I thought we had at the time, and to let him suffers from it as well since he seems like he still give a shit.

Anyway, I've spent hours and hours everyday thinking if what I've done was a right thing to do and it was real painful.

Few hours ago, I got this email from him

I'm sorry... 

I really miss you as a friend, and hope you wont be angry at me forever.. I'm sorry I hurt you - I was wrong.

Dont want to bug you if you dont want to talk to me, so if you feel like you could forgive me, maybe you could get in touch some time..



W

Miss me as a friend? What? Friend? What on earth would make you think that we were friends before? Have I ever said I want to be friend with you? Anyway, it wouldn't be any different if he said he misses because of other reasons and at least I got a relatively more thoughtful apologize now then the shitty one that he wrote me before. I don't know what to write back to him yet, in fact, i don't even know what i am supposed to feel right now...

So, I have decided...

W called again yesterday and I knew he would call.

I actually planned to tell him not to call anymore when he calls again because I started thinking about him more and more after he called last week

but i didn't tell him when he called yesterday, instead, we had a pleasant conversation for more then an hour

However, the conversation still ended badly.

W: How was your weekend?
me: Not much, you?
W: not much either, my friends were busy, so I was staying at home all the time
me: same here, especially I don't have much friends left in here now and i found it hard to know new friends
W: I found it hard too

Right at that moment, It reminded me how he laid about meeting his "friend" who he met from internet through a dating website. I just can't help to get angry

me: How come? I think you are good at that.
W: No i am not
me: well, you have your way to do it
W: what?
me: I said you have your way to do it

Then he realized what I was referring to then we both went silence. Then I realized I had said something I shouldn't have said because i don't want him to know I still give a shit. Afterward, I told him I had things to do so i had to go. At the moment, i know I have to end it, I can't talk to him like I am some sort of time bomb that I don't know when I will explode.

I sent him this email few hours after the phone call.

W,

I had a really good time talking to you today and last week, but I just can't keep talking to you and pretend nothing have happened. What happened still hurts, therefore I think we should stop talking. I am sure you will understand and I hope we can be friends someday.

regards
P

It hurts so bad to tell such things to a person who you love...

Yup, W called again

Last Sunday, I got a phone call while I was preparing the "peanuts chicken feet" soup for the night. I totally thought It was my friend R because I was going to meet her the next day. However, when I answered the phone I had this unfamiliar voice saying hello to me but without calling my name. I immediately thought that is a miss-dial or one of those stupid cold-calls.

him: Hello
me: yes?
him: hey, it's me
me: you are?
him: guess who i am (honestly I really HATE when people do this)
me: arrrr, T? (I didn't think he is T, but if he insist that I have to guess, then that would be my only answer)
him: no
me: hmmmm, i really have no idea, can you just tell me who you are?
him: It's W.

I was in shocked and froze for few seconds because I really didn't expect he would call me, at least not by phone.

that was the first conversation we had since we had a fight in july

Then I bursted into laughter and tried to use the laughter to cover my embarrassment. In the past two years, we talked at least once a week and now I don't even recognize his voice. I was embarrassed but I also felt quite good by the fact that I was forgetting him and now he knows it too.

I didn't expect he would call because the last time he told me he would, he didn't, which is a good thing actually, I know if we keep talking I will never be able to forget him, I would rather things end like that. Sometimes I do wonder why he is not calling, which I was doing again in that morning. I told him that, I told him it's interesting that I was just thinking about him in the morning and now he is calling. Right after that he went, "oh, why were you thinking about me?" I guess he wanted me to say i miss him but obviously i didn't. Then he told me he misses me a lot but I didn't say anything afterward. Then we chatted like how we usually do. I told him I went to Vancouver and he told me he went to LA in the same period of time. I found that rather ironic that we were actually that close geographically. In our conversation, he was constantly telling me he "have so much things that he wants to tell me", I guess that is the other way of him saying he misses me. Anyway, I ended our conversation by telling him I have to continue cooking, which is partly true, but the fact is I can not bear the fact that he is always the one who ends the conversation in the past anymore, therefore, i have to be the one who ends the conversation this time and will not give him a chance to believe he is getting the same old person who can take advantage of back.

W, what the hell are you doing?

Vancouver geeky boy (2)

The next day, A and I walked around UBC (gosh, UBC IS beautiful) and eventually Kate joined us since she had been hanging around there already. However, it soon became the worst day of my trip because it revealed what Kate really is, a paranoid psycho. Actually A did kinda warn me about that but apparently A was being too nice she didn't really went all the way to the details. Since there were so many little annoying incidents and conversations that happened that day, I am not going to go over them one-by-one here. All I can say is Kate is a girl who is actually not that confident with her physical appearance and she clearly suffers from her social life. Thus it makes her so paranoid about the idea of "hanging out with a friend" and "how she thinks people would think about her". She also can be EXTREMELY pushy when she wants/needs to "hang out with" someone, yea, that sounds like a psycho isn't it. Anyway, one might ask how the whole "Kate is a social paranoid" thing relates to Vancouver geeky boy(vgb). The answer is that it means she will never introduce me to vgb no matter how many times I ask her to. I noticed that when I asked her if she could ask vgb to have supper with us or going to the beach with us the next day,I got ambiguous blahs as an answer so eventually i realized no matter how many times I ask her she will still give me the same old answer. Therefore, I decided to give up on knowing this vgb through Kate and planned on getting to know him through one of the most important inventions of the world, Facebook.

That is the story of me meeting a guy who I didn't really meet in Van.

Honestly although I do find this vgb quite attractive, I've decided I should just to be friends with him because I really don't need another long distance relationship after W. Another reason I want to know this guy is because Kate literally described him as a perfect (gay) human being therefore I really want to know if such a perfect man could really exist since I am disappointed in gay man because of W, whom I thought was so perfect but it turned out he is not.

I sent my first message to him about 2 weeks ago which is a week after I went back home and we have been chatting since then.

One funny thing is since I am pretty sure this vgb has never seen the psycho side of Kate so I had to tell him not to tell Kate that we are chatting now because the whole spying on a friend's friends thing is rather embarrassing for me (which is partly true, but, the truth is i am sure if Kate knew that I started talking to him once i added her on facebook she will think i am using her and stealing a friend of her from her, which is a normal social paranoid would do) :P

Vancouver geeky boy (1)

As I promised I am going to talk about the story of the boy who i DIDN'T meet when I was in Vancouver in this post.

However, before I talk about this guy I have to talk about this girl "Kate" (false name of coz) because she is kinda our Cupid, but a very annoying one.

When I was in Vancouver two weeks ago, "A" threw a Mafia game party for me at her house since she knew I love playing the game Mafia (of cuz she loves it too). Mafia is a game that requires numerous intelligent players to involve (at lease 8 players), therefore it’s very hard to gather the party to make a successful Mafia game. That night A invited lots of her friends included her high school classmate Kate. My first impression of Kate was that she was a friendly, confident, intelligent girl who doesn't really care about her appearance. The game was really fun but several people left after few games and at the end there were only 7 of us left in the game. Then I asked the remaining people if they know anyone live nearby they could invite to join the game. Then Kate immediately said she knew a guy who might be able to join the game and this gay is very hot and he is also gay as well. Then I was like, "yea, that's great, call him now". However, she suddenly changed her mind, she told me that might not be a good idea to invite him because he had to ride the bike home after the game and it was late night already. That really doesn't sound very convincing to me and I think it was very random for her to change her mind all in a sudden but I knew there's nothing I could do to make her to invite that cute gay guy to join us, I was disappointed indeed. Then I asked her if she could show me his photos on her facebook. This guy, lets call him Vancouver geeky boy (vgb) for now, is actually a fairly sweet, geek looking guy (he wears geeky glasses in most of his pictures on facebook), yet he is not "hot", which is what Kate described him as (I really doubt if Kate know what "hot" means after I see vgb's picture). Nevertheless, I personally do found him and attractive especially his geeky look (I am a big geek lover, I have no idea why :-D). Then I started asking Kate about this vgb. Kate seemed very excited when she talked about him and she just kept telling us how sweet and talented he is. Eventually we carried on the topic after the game while we were having bubble tea. She told us it's a pity that he is gay otherwise they would be dating already. Honestly I don't see that coming even if vgb is a straight guy (of course I didn't saying anything). At that time, I've felt very intrigued by who vgb really is and I know I have to find a way to get Kate to introduce us...



to be continued...

TureBlooding ep11

Okay, I know I said I was going to talk about the guy who I DID NOT meet in Vancouver in this post but I just can't not talk about trueblood



Since I was in Vancouver when the last episode was aired and I didn't have a chance to watch it until few days ago.



I have to say the last episode of the famous vampire series is very disappointing! When it started to show the end credits I was like "what the fuck? It’s finished? No way!". That entire episode only included trash talks between Jason and Andy, the boring scene of Bill staying in the vampire queen's mansion and Lafayette's stupid panic over Eric. I have no fucking clue why Sookie would lay down with that old guy in her house for so long with no reason, It was just stupid. I really hope all the boredom this episode has is just the strategy of presenting the season finale, which is going to air two weeks later.

Key scenes of episode 11 (there's only one)

Cross-dressing Eric, cute!

if you want to see more alexander skarsgard do cross-dressing, you might want to check out the movie Kill your darlings.

Back from Vancouver

I'm really sorry it took so long for me to update my blog since coming back from Vancouver, it's mostly because I've been meeting up with friends. Anyway...

To sum it up, let me say: the trip was amazing!!!

I just can't tell you guys how much this trip means to me. Honestly I really didn't expect this trip would be this fun and amazing when I decided to go. Now, I have to take back what I had said about Vancouver... which was that I thought it wouldn't surprise me. In fact, this city amazes me in many ways.

First, the food there is AMAZING! Japanese food is really popular there and they are all very good (but it might just be because I have a nice local escorts who brought me to the nice ones). Anyway not only Japanese but all the food there is just generally very nice, I didn't even have one bad meal there, some might be less impressive, but over all they are really good. Second, streets are so green, there are so many trees in the city so you will always find yourself walking under trees. Plus the nice weather when I was visiting, it was probably one the best downtown walking/shopping experiences i have had. Oh oh oh, the streets are very clean and neat as well, you could tell by not being able to see any ugly cheap graffiti there.

isn't it just look amazing?

Deep fried big fat oysters burger, so oily so yummy

streets and parks are very clean, instead of ugly cheap graffiti, you see cute installation

gas town, so nice

Gay scene

There are two major gay clubs in Vancouver which are Odyssey and Celebrities (yea, I know, it sounds so lame). I was lucky enough to be able to go to both clubs in different days during the trip. The first one I went was Odyssey, I went on Thursday because every Thursday night they have a event called "Shower Power", which they put a naked gay dancer into a glass made rectangular tube with a shower tap to let them shower/dance inside. Honestly those beefy guys aren't really my cup of tea but I still quite enjoy clubbing there. One thing I found it quite pleasing to dance there is the pleasant atmosphere of the mixture of different races, especially between White and Asian (interestingly I didn't see lots of black there, why would that be?). Where I am living, most White and Asian gay guys are usually stay with their own crowds. I was surprised there were quite a lot of people there even in the weekday too. The second club I went to is Celebrities. I am not sure if its because I look kinda new to them therefore I actually got checked out quite a lot. The clubbing experience there was nice too, I love it for the same reason as the other club since these two clubs don't have much difference.The only problem I have with both clubs is their music kinda sucks and the worst thing is both club play the same style of songs, which is mixing-all-the-music-into-gayish-dance-music songs. I understand lots of gay guys do like house/dance music, but is it necessary to play the exact same kind of music when there are only two gay major clubs there? I have to say I really hate when they mix hip-hop songs into dance music. I really don't see what's the point of doubling the beats of lady gaga's songs. Anyway, although the music was not that great but the whole clubbing experience was still quite pleasant.

to be continued...
(I am gonna talk about this guy who I DID NOT meet in Van in the next post)