Today is not my day, But it's okay.

There's only one sun,
but it travels the world every day.
This sun is all mine and I won't give it away!

- Marina Tsvetaeva

I've heard! I wear! but because I thought it was so insignificant I didn't keep in mind who said it, the thing that he said was:

"The only motivation for me to continue to live my life is when I look in the sky, I see the sun"

When I heard it I thought that was totally bullshit and I thought this guy was just being pretentious and trying to be sentimental. I just couldn't believe how a person's life can be inspired by the existent of the sun unless he/she is astronomer. But, today, I experienced the same fantastic sense of touch as the quote above described. I was touched, moved, soothed, when I looked at the sun.

I was so stressed yesterday night mainly because I felt like I can't even finish the thing that I've started, like the my work permit application, the portfolio, website...etc. At that moment, I desperately need an accomplishment, something easy, something don't need lots of effort yet the out come would be remarkable or beneficial. Therefore I started my study for the test of the driver's license, which I should have done ages ago, at the middle of the night. I was pretty tired after the intensive studying. Then I spoke to my sister in Hong Kong for a while, which later I realized I should never have, because the conversation turned out to be very unpleasant and exhausting. My sister is just a very sensitive girl who is VERY easily found things offensive, and it just makes her very hard to talk to sometimes. I spent almost half of the airtime on the phone trying explaining myself rather then actual chatting. The entire conversations consumed a lot more energy than I thought it would be. I was totally, literally exhausted, yet I couldn't sleep because of the conversation, and it was 4a.m.

I woke up at 9a.m. in the morning, which is rather early for me. I felt so refreshing as I walked down the street and under the gentle sun beam, I knew I was ready for the challenge, yes, by challenge, I meant the written driving test that I just decided to do the yesterday. Right before I got in the licensing department I realized I didn't have enough cash for the test so I went to the closest, still far even it's the closest, ATM to withdraw some cash, however, it didn't work. My Bank card just won allow me to withdraw anyway money from it, so I had to walk even further to the branch to fix the issue. Apparently someone was trying to steal my card info so the card locked itself automatically. After all the hassle I finally went back to the licensing department. As soon as I got in the building, I asked the receptionist where the department is and she told me the department has moved, three years ago, to, ironically, somewhere near by the bank that I had just visited. Apparently not all the info on my study guide was correct. After all the walking and suffering, I no longer felt refreshing and my steps were heavy. Then I wrote the test. It wasn't hard, at all, but I must say it was terrifying to wait for the result, especially the officer would actually call them by name and tell the person if he/she pass or fail in front of ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE TESTING ROOM. Failing is not terrifying, you just need another 10 bucks to retake it, but letting others know that you are failing is absolutely terrifying. Trust me, people do fail the test, like half half of them. I am glad that I passed it, otherwise I don't know if I would have the courage to take it again. After I walked out the department, I was still feeling dizzy and heavy. Then I looked into the sky, I saw the sun, it seemed like its telling me everything is okay now. The electric just suddenly went thought my whole body. Then I thought about the poem and that thing that whoever have said, I was touched.

Having a hard time? It's okay, at lease when you look up, the sun is still there.



I treated myself in a jazz bar for supper tonight!




This song just matched my mood


There's only one sun, a short film directed by Wong Kar Wai